In my family it was a act of power not to talk
about certain matters.
All the abuse that had happened to me and my
siblings had to be concealed.
At a certain moment I did confront my father.
Afterwards a uncle called me up and told me that
my father couldn't deal with it.
"Then he shouldn't have done it to me."
For me it was time to seek help despite of even more resistance by
The consultations were good for me because she
didn't judge anyone.
It gave me all space I needed for my own decisions.
First I decided to take a distance for a
months which took a lot of time and energy.
My family didn't want to let go of me and tried to
control with whom and of what I spoke with people outside my family.
One of my brothers brought me an unexpected visit and warned
me that it was better to break completely with my family before they
could break me.
He said: "You can do this. I can't."
A week later he broke the contact with me.
Finally there was only one way left and which was the toughest
decision of my life
because I neede a complete break with my family.
I neede a cplete
break with my family.
I suddenly felt an orphan.
The consultations helped me to go through those fears and to start
living my own life.
She learned me how to cope with it out of compassion:
Understanding the other or the others but with preservation of my
own standards and values.
I knew how violent the youth of my parents and
my grandparents had been.
They had apparently
not been capable or willing to make a change because they claimed
that they had come as far in their life because or their youths.
After the death of my parents there is sometimes superficial contact
with my brother and sister.
Sometimes, unfortunately as it may be, it
isn't possible to stay in a family.
decision takes a lot of courage.
She felt freed and
ready to live her own life.