My mother was seriously ill and I, her only daughter, became
more and more in conflict with myself.
There was so much damaged by her behavior in my life that my
anger towards her made that I didn't wanted to visit her in
the hospital. Afterwards that was for the better because she
didn't want to see me.
For the outside world, she was a woman who had cared for her
three children after her husband had left her while the youngest
was two years old, hard-working and church-going.
I knew a very different mother.
My mother seemed to hate me.
invented stories about me behind my back to everyone that
had put me a bad light.
In my youth I was abused by her numerous times and I was
told that I was so bad that not even God could love me.
I needed help.
During the initial consultation, I noticed that I didn't
need to explain anything but that I was believed to be true.
asked me the question:
"Is she jealous of you?"
question made visible what I previously had not been able to
My mother had hurt me so much that I never thought of
myself as being person to be jealous off.
Once my mother had said to me:
"I don't see why your life
should be better than my life."
By using this realization I was able to let go of my
She had projected all her uncertainties and damages on me.
I knew that her youth had been not happy and that she had
never overcome the separation with my father.
died shortly afterwards without wanting to see me anymore.
I put a card in her coffin with the text:
"Mom, by you I became a better person."
A few weeks later the notary send me a copy of her will
which showed that she had disinherited me.
My brothers were appointed as the executors of her will and
have acted upon her last wishes.
She felt that she still meant what she had written on the card
because despite of everything she hadn't become like her
She felt freed and
ready to live her own life.