Karma

Even after following many therapies I kept drinking out of  an irrational sense of guilt and powerlessness.
Suddenly I received an appointment for a physician after years living on  social welfare without any checking of my situation.
The physician said to me:
“Why you don’t work? I’m going to report that you are able to work”.
In that time I moved but meanwhile I felt the stress that I had to go to work again.
The last time I drank, I was so sick that I thought:
“Now I have punished myself enough.”

A year later I was declared healthy and although  I had built up a successful company from scratch, I  felt deep down inside myself that there was still sometime wrong.
Two years later setbacks started.
My friend cheated on me, my accountant did the same, new neighbors gave enormous inconvenience and my health was poor by a virus. 
Eight years I dealt with one setback after the other.
Injustice was not rectified and so I lost all lawsuits.
I avoided people and lived in fear of the next setback.
After six years I started drinking again.
One evening I walked outside crying out of despair.
My question to “the sky” was one I will never forget:
“Let me see my strength.”

By the consultations, which took place in the years afterwards, I realized that my powerlessness was caused by extreme feelings of guilt.
It seemed to me that they were passed on me by birth.
I learned that Karma is not meant to redeem yourself about an earlier life but to do it right in this life.
The desire to drink and thus punishing myself disappeared slowly but surely. I got everything, my private life and my business, back on track.
Now I feel that deep down inside myself it is okay.

Her drinking pattern consisted of binge-drinking.
This way of drinking is from no desire to drink at all to suddenly being drunk for many days.
The trigger is always rather psychologically than physically.