A New Beginning!

The way I lived was no longer acceptable for me.
I had one relationship after the other and changed from work and house every few years.
As soon as my life became quiet the urge came back to change work and to move on again.
There was always something on my way to get involved.

During the second session it came clear to me that it was time to clean up the first relationship which was the one with myself.
I realized that I  always followed what showed up in my life but never took the time to make serious decisions.
She asked me: “What do you want?”

I shall never forget that question because it was the first time that someone had asked me that.
My answer was very emotional: “I do not know …”.

I was sixteen years old when my mother died for my eyes of a cardiac arrest.
My father couldn’t cope with the situation and started drinking.
It started with letting go of what I no longer wanted and what I would have liked.
The most important and most difficult was to do this without guilt.
I had never taken the time for my doubts as to whether I could have helped my mother or my father.
The next step was what I expected of myself and whether this was a realistic expectation.

After a few months, in which I felt that both psychologically and physically my balance got stronger, my life was changed completely.
On a spiritual level I got to terms with the death of my mother and the behavior of my father afterwards.
His behavior warned me not to act like him.
I know better now what I want which keeps me balanced.

When the circumstances are determining your life, you live out of fear.